Sometimes I wonder, how would life be if life was like Lola Fabrikant? True, I will not have much intellectual life to speak of, but at least, I would be happy.
Happiness comes to us in alot of ways. My first few days of imprisonment was unbearable. However, I increasingly find that I am getting to terms with it. Perhaps as Offred says, we can get used to everything as long as there are the compensations to look forward to. While I may not have much compensations to talk about, I definitely have a tolerable existence, so much so that I may actually be fond of it. My sentence is ending, I may get to fulfil my dreams, however, one ponders, can I still fit into the society so long after my detachment?
I developed and matured over the past few years of my sentence and I look at amazement at how people can be so immature even if they are older then me. Yet I forget to ask myself, would I have been like them without my experiences? Life is a series of experiences, my former life is one of an Ivory Tower, high in the clouds above all. The fall from grace have been hard, devastating, traumatizing even, yet, perhaps it is better this way?
Now I wonder, can I return to my former life?
I am tired.
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